Output 13--Dance like everyone is watching

We went to a concert last night. I enjoyed it as much as any great concert... which is to say, I look like I'm enjoying the hell out of it, but I'm not convinced I experience shows– or any enjoyment--the way normal people do.

Because more than I'm absorbing the performance, I'm trapped in my own head, wondering how I look; wondering if the artist can tell I know all the words; wondering if I'm dancing harder than everyone else to prove I'm digging the music harder too; if the venue is small enough, wondering what I can do to get the artist to notice that I am not like the others because I'm not a fan. I'm an artist, too. I'm cool like you! Acknowledge!

It feels gross, being aware of my own need to be noticed and considered somehow different or superior. Maybe they'll ask me to come up and sing a song, even though they have zero clue who the fuck I am!

Enjoy this song by the artist I saw play last night, Big Sandy. He did, in fact, notice me, and make eye contact from the stage, and thank me for dancing. Yayyyy, me.