Output 16--I just want to feel better.

My entire life I have been either nervous, depressed, panicked, or ashamed.

I just want to feel better.

My DNA results are in. Almost no mood stabilizers will work for me. Almost no antidepressants will work for me. The only anti-anxiety meds that will work are addictive. And nothing will fix me quickly.

I don't remember a time where I didn't feel either the extreme stress of responsibility, self-hatred, hopelessness, powerlessness, or shame. Briefly, during Ayahuasca retreats, I felt the sensation of freedom but it didn't last, of course. That was a brief glimpse of life lived outside this fucking cycle.

I feel myself pushing people away because I don't know how to talk about this. I just want to feel better.

Help.