Output 28—Field Report: Camp John Waters

Fellow First Class flyer. Now we are blessed and nothing bad can happen on this flight.

This definitelys seems ill-advised. I bought the ticket in February (had no idea there was a camp for John Waters fans—hosted by John Waters) and the airfare soon thereafter. At the time, I had no idea what was coming. I just had tens of thousands of dollars from my 401K and a determination to spend it on some kind of Year of Awesomeness while I quickly got up to speed as a working tattoo artist.

I insured the trip, mostly against unforeseen illnesses like Covid (does anyone NOT buy travel insurance these days?), but as I contemplated canceling the trip, post-nervous-breakdown, I learned that mental illness isn’t covered. So, at that point, while I considered selling my spot to someone in the Camp Facebook Group (I was considering that up to 24 hours prior to departure), my med manager and therapist both signed off, believing it will be “good for me.”

They’ve probably never seen a John Waters movie. Hopefully there won't be nearly as much orgiastic sex as joked about in the Group. I really just want to relax. I even left almost all paraphernalia for the various contests and events at home, so I could leave off competing and just soak it all in. I have that privilege as a noob.

Speaking of privelege, I decided to fly First Class for the first time in my life in order to make everything as smooth as possible. I also decided to rent a car and drive from LaGuardia to the camp in Connecticut. I tried to amass some good karma by offering rides to other LaGuardia arrivees, and am currently awaiting one in baggage claim. If you’ve never flown First Class on a jet where they can barely fit 2 seats on each side of the aisle… well, I got a free checked bag, early boarding, an extra bag of chips, and the flight attendant took our drink orders as the plebes were boarding. Hella swanky.

I won’t be posting any of this on social media. I’m attempting to return to the days where my experiences were MINE, not the whole god damned world’s. But if you subscribe to this thing, I’ll include you in the hot mess weekend, to the extent that posting doesn’t STRESS ME OUT!