Output 5--I don't put out.

I'm reading the autobiography of Kathleen Hanna.

She's my age. She had a very similar childhood to mine (hers was dialed to 13 whereas mine sat around 11) and also went to a tiny hippie college.

And watching Ladies and Gentlemen The Fabulous Stains made her want to start a band, too.

The difference is, she did it. I didn't.

Now I suppose I get to dive deep into the WHYs. Why did music save me, but it never occurred to me to learn an instrument? Why was singing my only refuge, but I never did what I needed to do to be in a band? Why was I aware that I was a good and with study a GREAT singer, but unable to do anything to help myself become one?

Kathleen Hanna and I had similar childhood stories but our brains are different. She got angry and aggressive. I got angry and scared.

It's a thrilling read but as always when I reflect upon my childhood and my failure to "meet my potential," it also makes me incredibly sad.